March 1 was the 15th anniversary of Arjan's death, so the dogs and I made a pilgrimage to the exact spot where he died.
We drove up the backside of the mountain, as high as we could, and parked "La Confiable" in the shade. The road was absolutely trecherous - washed out and teribly rocky.
I am standing on the very spot where Lew and I did CPR on Arjan. The dogs were good companions for the journey and kept me rooted in the present moment.
Bindi's muchas smooches were very comforting.
We sat on the spot for a long while and had a Gestalt conversation with Arjan. Following the fairy tale of my previous post, I imagined that as Arjan was in the process of dying, he went through a series of liberations, starting with the sloughing off of all the social conditioning BS he had accumulated in life, passing through a moment of being his essential self, and finally returning to the nature from which he originally emerged.
This is the spot where it all went down.
It has not changed much in 15 years. Plants grow very slowly in the desert.
I stripped naked and asked the sun to burn away my desires, fears and attachments.
I asked Arjan to help me. Liberation is my goal. Death of course is the ultimate tool of liberation. It takes tremendous confidence and courage to liberate one's self prior to death. Arjan has shown me the way.
LAG and I used to have breakfast at The Garland most every Sunday. Arjan would often meet us there. He would never order food for himself, but he would always eat my breakfast potatos, much to my dimay and LAG's amusement. I went to The Garland Sunday morning to reflect on my memories of Arjan.
My favorite dish - Tofu Normandy - hibiscus tea and the Tucson Weekly. Just like old times.
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